Finding Courage To Demonstrate Interest
Chapter Cover Photo
Image Of Mysterious Woman With Glasses

What my counselor and I did not discuss was a different topic that was relevant during the 1980s especially in the south.  The topic is race.  Outside of metro Atlanta, there is the rural south and in Georgia, during the 1980s the rural south was so adverse to the idea that it could put people's lives in jeopardy.  Marriage and most forms of intimate interactions of any sort were outlawed in parts of America prior to 1967.  Dating a girl from a different race would be something of which people disapproved.

As much as I was fearful of disapproval this was not going to be an issue that I would allow to affect my choices and my interests.  I know that I have to think about the other person.  It would be chilling to think that a black woman was hurt for going out with me a white man.  What is one to do about this?  Well, for one, you be careful about driving around together as a couple outside metro Atlanta.  That doesn't mean everyone in Atlanta or at Georgia Tech approved of such matters but they weren't going to hurt anyone to force their views on the many who choose to date outside their race.  

I might note that the counselor who helped me over those 5 years of undergraduate education was an African-American man.  I have heard people even at Georgia Tech make disparaging remarks about African Americans.  That being said, they weren't going to do anything to harm a person who doesn't agree with them.  That was not something one could expect outside of Atlanta (metro Atlanta).  This might seem irrelevant since I didn't even get a second date with this girl.  However, I did date interracially at other times.  

In fact, I took a girl on a date at Stone Mountain, Georgia which is both a city and an entertainment location.  They had a laser light show that they presented every night with the lasers shining against the large stones that made Stone Mountain, Georgia.  It was part southern and part American.  The KKK had a presence in Stone Mountain back at that time when I suggested we go there for a date.  When I say "we" I am talking about my date who was black, who I took to Stone Mountain for a date a couple of years later.

Getting back to the topic at hand... I wondered if this was a "date" and if I had accomplished my goal of getting a date with a girl.  I don't know if people want a man or woman who has had experience dating others or if it matters.  I suppose a person who has never had a relationship with another person might have problematic social skill deficits.  

Over time I was unable to give myself credit for having the skills necessary to date and find a connection with another person, an intimate and/or romantic connection.  This would be a topic that had relevance with regard to the next two or three dates, relationships, or connections with females.  In one instance I was unsure about how to deal with sexual intimacy.  In one of my first real dates, I was a bit scared and unsure about going all the way with her.  At the same time, I had a girlfriend who may or may not have been a girlfriend.  I did love Celta.  I was deeply in love with her but I was unsure as to the nature of the relationship.  I was in love though and it did define me.

That being said, in 1989, while still an undergraduate I did meet a girl.  I had previously had friends who were female but I was like a friend of their boyfriend also.  This lunch date with the girl with John Lennon glasses was my first such date or connection with another.  

Let's just say "boy meets girl" and leave it at that.